Let's start with an uncomfortable truth: telling someone to "just use their phone less" is about as helpful as telling someone to "just be happier." Screens are woven into every aspect of modern life—work, communication, entertainment, navigation, banking. You can't simply opt out.
What you can do is develop a healthier, more intentional relationship with your devices.
Intentional vs. Default Screen Time
Not all screen time is equal. Watching a film you chose with your family is different from scrolling social media because you're bored. Video-calling a friend is different from mindlessly refreshing the news.
The goal isn't to minimise all screen time. It's to maximise intentional use and minimise default use—the time you spend on screens without a clear purpose.
Practical Strategies That Work
1. The Pause Habit
Before picking up your phone, pause and ask: "What am I looking for?" If you have a clear answer—checking a message, looking up a recipe, calling someone—proceed. If the answer is "I'm bored" or "I don't know," put it down and do something else for five minutes.
2. Designate Screen-Free Zones
Choose two places where screens don't go: the dining table and the bedroom. These boundaries are simple to implement and have an outsized impact on family connection and sleep quality.
3. Use Friction to Your Advantage
Move social media apps off your home screen. Log out of them after each use. Remove infinite-scroll apps entirely and access them only through a browser. Each small friction point creates a moment of choice.
4. Schedule Your Scrolling
Rather than fighting the urge to scroll all day, designate two 15-minute windows for social media. Knowing you'll have time later makes it easier to resist in the moment.
Drop the Guilt
If you spent an evening watching television after a long day, that's not failure—that's recovery. Guilt about screen time often leads to more screen time (stress → scrolling → guilt → more stress → more scrolling). Break the cycle by removing the moral judgement.
A Realistic View
Some seasons of life involve more screen time than others. Working from home, caring for young children, or going through a difficult period might mean your screen time is higher than you'd like. That's okay.
Focus on the quality of your screen-free time rather than obsessing over the quantity of your screen time. An hour of fully present time with your family is worth more than three hours of being physically present but mentally elsewhere.